reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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