Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
