I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
