one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
