I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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