respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
