My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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