just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
