sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
