In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
