what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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