im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
