just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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