Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
