Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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