She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
