Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
