life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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