chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
