she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
