dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
