She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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