Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
