the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
