on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My penis needs a shock collar
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
