My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
