Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i may or may not be watching the land before time
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
