If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
