My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
