Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
