i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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