we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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