i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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