Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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