Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
