guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
