I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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