I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
