this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
