So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
