The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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