Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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