so let's talk penis.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
