Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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