would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
