you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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