Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
