Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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