gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this just has baby written all over it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
