I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
