Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
