I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
