You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
