I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
